"J'ai respiré à fond et ai écouté le vieux braille de mon coeur; Je suis. Je suis. Je suis"
My name is Alex and I am an eighteen year old girl living in the United Kingdom. Alex is -not- my real name but it soon -will- be. I hold great pride for my country although I am not quite sure why. I'm the biggest bastard you'll ever meet but I'm bloody lovely, too. We all have strengths and we all have weaknesses; the problem with the majority of the population today is that they tend to dwell on these weaknesses. They sit and they ponder them over a cigarette and beer instead of working with them to turn them into strengths. How do you ever expect to be happy if you aren't prepared to do what it takes? Being happy doesn't always just come to us. No. Some of us aren't that lucky.
Catch me on a good day, and I will be the most extrovert person you ever happened to lay your eyes upon. I will tolerate your obnoxious, loud and pointless noises without so much as clenching my teeth and I will draw from the energy of those around me, loving the company. I will communicate with you with great enthusiasm, my words often becoming jumbled as my mind works faster than my mouth and I will more than likely interrupt you mid sentence. Al the time.
Catch me on a normal day, and I will, more than likely, be one of the most introverted people you have ever set your sights on. I will do whatever it is that I can do, within my power, to avoid you and anyone and crowds. I will lock myself in my bedroom and not be seen for days, choosing to do my eating and going to the bathroom once everyone else is safely tucked up in bed. You'll forget I ever existed. Should you enter my shell, I will be cautious and I will come across as cold, aloof and uncaring; that couldnt be further from the truth. No, I'm just protecting myself. From what? You tell me.
I am always late. When working, whether it be school or a job, I like a challenge and pressure and all-nighters with my head stuck in a text book, highlighting appropriate paragraphs. I'll then write them out into a small, black note book to read back on with ease later. I would rather have two best friends than 20 "just" friends. I am usually the first to jump up when the phone rings or the front door goes. I am more interested in the details than the general idea. Despite my nature and the impression I give off, I am VERY easily excitable. I'm a planner, in most areas. I think, not act. I observe; I'm the one sitting in the corner of a party, alone and seemingly having an awful time. The truth? I'm having the time of my life. Other people are fascinating. I will drop everything to help you should you choose to come to me for help. You will very rarely hear me raise my voice; I am forever being scolded for whispering and mumbling; silence is golden. Reading is an extremely huge part of my life but that deserves a whole entry to itself at a later date. As does music and movies. I am very creative; I am able to appreciate the beauty in things others cannot. I try to stand firmly by my principles but I am only human and I make mistakes. The world could be a little bit of a better place if more people were prepared to admit that. I am a smoker and I do like the occasional sip of alcohol. I never seem to lose my sense of wonder. One might say I see life through rose-colored glasses. I have been told I would make a very good psychologist, teacher, musician, photographer or writer. I plan on becoming an English teacher so I get to incorporate two of those ideas into my career.
I want to take gritty fashion shots in dirty bedrooms with white four poster beds and skinny, tall, dark haired men. I want to bring back heroin chic with my own personal touch. I want to bring back the true meaning of celebrity; glitz, glamour and mystery. I want controversy, baby.